Gunpoint Hypotheticals: The Red Pill or the Blue Pill

Recently, TVG started a series called Gunpoint Hypotheticals. The basic idea is that TVG writers are put in a tough scenario and forced to make a decision. The first scenario involved writers choosing a new team to cheer for in the NFC North. In this next scenario, we raise the stakes. Here is what I sent over to the writers:

“Roger Goodell, who is mysteriously in full-blown Morphesus apparel, sits in front of you. From a leather wingback chair, Goodell tells you that you’ve been living in a sham of a reality. He thus puts two pills down in front of you on the small table. If you take the blue pill, you’ll simply proceed with your normal Vikings fandom, complete with Minnesota’s consistent ineptitude and heartbreak. If you take the red pill, Minnesota will win the Super Bowl in 2021. However, the next five years will lead to a Packers Super Bowl. Even worse, GB eliminates Minnesota from each of those five playoffs, and in every game Joe Buck accuses a Minnesota player of committing a disgusting act. Which pill do you choose and why?”

The Red Pill

Cole: I would take the red pill with no hesitation. I famously (to myself) said back in 2017 that, if the Vikings won it all that year, the quarterback dilemma they would face in the 2018 off-season wouldn’t mean anything to me. If the Vikings won the Super Bowl following the 2021 season, I could easily stomach five years of heartache. A 35-10 loss in week 9 of 2022? I’d smile, flip my television over to the Vikings Super Bowl victory, and be happy again. The Packers winning a Super Bowl after that? I wouldn’t be stoked, but again, I’d smile, flip the television over to the Vikings Super Bowl, and be content.

The Vikings have never been truly awful in my lifetime but almost never truly great either. If I had to experience both the highest of highs, I’d take the lowest of lows graciously.

Mimir: This one’s a no brainer. You’re telling me the Vikes not only win the Super Bowl but make the playoffs for five consecutive years after? Sold. Oh, and Joe Buck continues to make a fool of himself on national television? Double sold. My “Disgusting Act” shirt is already in the mail.

As I eagerly reach out for that red pill, Goodell pulls his hand back. “Don’t you want to think about this?” he asks, “Won’t it mean less knowing that your choice here today may influence the outcome? That you may not have earned it? That the suffering and heartbreak and anger and loss of all the years past means nothing? That your entire existence will forever be shrouded in the uncertainty of never knowing how much of your own life you really control and how much is merely a puppet master pulling the strings for his own sick pleasure?”

I gulp down the red pill: “Just win, baby!

The Blue Pill

Yours Truly: Look, I know our current reality with the Vikings hasn’t gone super well. I’ve lived through my fair share of heartbreak and letdown, so the idea of getting a Super Bowl is super appealing.

That being said, I’m one of those fans who stubbornly refuses to believe the Vikings can’t do it. My basic thinking is that if the St. Louis Blues, Washington Capitals, Washington Nationals, Chicago Cubs, and even the Philadelphia Eagles can all breakthrough for championships, then so can our friends in purple. There is elite talent on this team, and I’m among the few Zimmer believers still out there.

Plus, the thought of having to see the Packers win five straight is a world I don’t want to live in. I’m taking my chances within our current reality.

Have an opinion? Let us hear about it in the comments. Should Vikings fans gladly take the red pill to get their first Lombardi?

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